‘Be more confident' will never work unless you have this.
People have misunderstood what confidence is thinking it is a like a resource we all have innate within us. We don’t. Confidence is earned.
One thing in common that all great performers and general achievers have, no matter the domain besides their clear expertise, is their confidence.
For some achievers their confidence is quiet and understated, whereas other achievers may where their confidence more brashly and more outwardly.
What is confidence? It’s the self awareness and acknowledgement of having a high ability level within a given domain and as mentioned, all achievers wear it differently.
Whatever the case, achievement and confidence go hand in hand but there is a misunderstanding as to what comes first.
People in the early phases of their journey towards achievement in their chosen endeavour will undoubtedly hit obstacles which leave them doubting themselves, and this is precisely where the misguidance kicks in.
“Just be more confident.”
A variation of this sentiment will be put forward by encouraging voices close to the performer, as if to say:
“I know you’ve been sitting on that confidence, keeping your powder dry, but now’s the time to bust it out.”
But the thing is, confidence doesn’t come first. It’s a side effect of ability.
But what about fake it ‘til you make it? Surely that’s a valid strategy and demonstrates that confidence is a resource that is always available?
To some extent sure. You can get started with some courage, but soon as the circumstances become unfamiliar and outside your comfort level you’ll know when you’re faking it and so will others. It’s not a sustainable strategy.
So how do we get confidence?
Confidence comes from competence
Confidence is the result of a simple feedback loop, a pattern of input leading to an output, a cause leading to an effect.
In this case, doing good work is the cause, gaining more confidence is the effect. This in turn leads to better quality of work, which leads to a deeper sense of confidence. That’s the loop.
Confidence is earned
The more competent you are the more confidence you’ll have in yourself.
Yes, you can begin with some fakery to get yourself started but it is no replacement for earned confidence.
When you know that you’ve put in hours and repetitions to get the competency level you have, that leads to a robust level of confidence that won’t be easily shaken by uncomfortable circumstances.
Competence produces evidence
High levels of competence in achievers are clear for all to see.
- Their performances are above the norm.
- They achieve at high levels.
- They achieve at high levels consistently.
This high degree of competence leads to clear objective proof that can’t be questioned. There’s always numbers to validate just how competent someone is.
Confidence is evidence
So if we know that confidence is high competence in action, and competence creates evidence, then confidence is evidence.
Basically, when there is clear, unquestionable positive evidence around your performances in front of you that you’ve generated yourself from your own earned efforts, the output will be rock solid self confidence.
And this is the only real road to confidence. There is no other way around it.
So forget the cries of “be more confident", and all the like. Go and get your hands more dirty, get more data back from your actions and feed the confidence feedback loop and let it do it’s job of drip feeding you confidence as and when you earn it.
